Dear friends, 

As I teach on Spiritual Warfare around the world I have been very drawn to Tom Wright’s thesis in Paul a Novel, where he conjectures that Paul met his spiritual match in Ephesus. He plots the three times Paul tries to get into that part of Asia and how the Holy Spirit prevents him from going. Wright’s argument was that Ephesus was just too spiritually bleak for Paul to cope with up to that point (despite Paul seeing mighty miracles even as he arrived in Ephesus itself);  He surmises that Paul was imprisoned in the demonic stronghold of Ephesus where Diana/Artemis was praised for her glorious grace. He suggests Paul had what we might call a breakdown there. Maybe it’s because I am well into my 40s, but I can identify with the idea that ministry might not all be up and up. The crash is familiar too. 

You sometimes see it in the faces of people gathered for the start of a conference. Pastors, leaders, lay workers, where that first love has gone a little bit cold, where the crash is still ringing in their ears. I remember going to one such gathering in London. Will van der Haart delivered a marvellous title to a sermon, ‘No-one Ever Dreams of Climbing Down Mt Everest’, which pretty much summed up the whole talk. Apparently 30% of those who die on that extreme expedition, die on the way down, never getting to tell the tale of reaching the top. Like mountaineers, Will argued, ministers who aim for the sky, but burn out are in danger of not making it safely home. For me that was the start of a 2 year period where I felt like God took me completely apart. A ‘discombobulation.’ 

Wright speculates further, however, that for Paul this breaking experience led to some international treasures. From the prison cell of Ephesus, if Wright is right, came the prison letters – Colossians, Philippians and Ephesians. Perhaps penned in some shadowy dungeon window while he was looking up at the great temple proclaiming Artemis’ glorious grace. Was Ephesians a political statement when he urged them to consider themselves made for the praise of the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ’s ‘glorious grace’. The praise of ‘His glory’, not ‘her glory.’ Paul was in a spiritual battle but he was on the winning side. As ‘he wrestled with wild beasts in Ephesus’, the Lamb still Wins. After the death of self-confidence comes insight, resurrection, and fresh revelation. 

From the prison there is transportive joy on display as Paul teaches the Philippians to rejoice in the Lord always. I’ve seen prisoners in Juba and Uganda make that same journey. There is deep revelation that Jesus ‘did not consider equality with God something to be grasped but made himself a servant, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross.’ [Phil 2: 6-11]. There is confident hope that ‘every knee will bow’ at the name of Jesus. In Colossians we find cosmic truth that, ‘The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.’ Against the Diana/Artemis cult, (where Artemis came first before her twin brother – and if you want a head spinner ask yourself why Paul writing to Timothy in Ephesus emphasises that Adam came first and then Eve), against that cult, Paul proclaims that it is in Jesus that all things were created: ‘things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.’ [Col 1: 15-17].

And then the third of this trio, Ephesians. A book echoes down the ages that wonderful prayer that Christ ‘may dwell in your hearts through faith.’ Who can not be moved by the prayer that we, ‘being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,  and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.’ [Eph 3:17-19]? Such treasures Paul got from his discombobulation, when he probably felt useless, languid in jail. 

We read later that when Paul finally left the Ephesians he fully expected they were in a fight for their spiritual lives. Often on our SOMA teams as we say goodbye we feel the same. Perhaps we are on some runway where goats have to be cleared off before a small MAF airplane can land. It may be the external pressures of war, politics, hunger or spiritual battles we are thinking of. Paul’s big warning however was the internal fights within the church. He stated that ‘after my departure fierce wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock; and from among your own selves will arise men speaking twisted things, to draw away the disciples after them.’

We get to pick up their story decades later through another Letter to Ephesus, which Jesus wrote as recorded in John in Revelation: 

 I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked people, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. [Rev 2:2-3]. 

It is worth breaking this down, with Eugene Peterson’s translation in brackets. 

  1. Deeds and hard work [‘your hard, hard work‘ (MSG)]. 
  2. Perseverance [‘your refusal to quit’ (MSG)].
  3. Cannot tolerate wicked people [‘can’t stomach evil’ (MSG)].
  4. Tested those who claim to be apostles/bishops but are not, and found them false [‘weed out apostolic pretenders’ (MSG)]. 
  5. Persevered [‘persistence’ (MSG)].
  6. Endured hardships in my name [‘Courage in my cause’ (MSG)].
  7. Not grown weary [‘Never wear out’ (MSG)]. 

There is so much that we might want to pause on here. Perhaps, we are tempted to pause to proclaim our own righteousness. ‘I work hard, I can’t stomach evil, I’m courageous, I never wear out’, or perhaps to announce: ‘I oppose those who “speak twisted things”’. ‘I oppose those who might draw disciples away from the clear gospel Paul taught to the Ephesians.’ 

It’s easy to pause here but the letter carries on. As Ian Paul puts it in his commentary:

‘all these impressive qualities make the sudden rebuke that follows all the more startling. All the work of the world, it appears, is worth nothing if love is not at the heart.’ 

Tragically the very thing Paul has prayed they be ‘rooted and established in’ has eluded them down the decades. 

‘Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.[Rev 2: 4-5]. 

Part of my journey after that ‘Mt Everest’ talk was processing how to ‘climb down’ safely. I’d prayed the Methodist Covenant prayer; ‘put me to something, put me to nothing…’ but wasn’t really liking that the answer at the time seemed to be, ‘Ok, I’ll put you to nothing.’ I had to talk it through, work it through, pray it through, give up trying to get through and chastened return to my first love again. 

Incidentally, isn’t it amazing how our brokenness can be used by the Lord to bring people to him? I remember another occasion in South Sudan where a dear man had joined a SOMA team but had had a terrible year. His son had died while he was on the other side of the world, and his marriage was in great trouble. He had joined the team humbly, thinking he had nothing to give, but sensing God’s call anyway. On two occasions he shared his stories of brokenness, and on both occasions someone gave their life to the Lord because through all the pain he had chosen not to forsake his first love, but to come back to the Lord. 

So while the letter finishes with an affirmation that this is a church on guard for the wolves (the Nikolaitains – the ‘conquerers of the people’), the lingering question is about first love. It’s no good just keeping ‘savage wolves who will speak twisted things and draw disciples away’ out of the church, we need to fan the flames of love for God, neighbour and each other as well. All this hard work and perseverance is only going to be of value to your soul if you do it from a place of love. First, we have to love. 

I don’t expect Paul wanted to be broken at Ephesus (if indeed he was). I definitely didn’t want to be discombobulated. But Paul learnt things too marvellous to tell, and three book loads of things he could. And wouldn’t it be wonderful to get to the end of this long and wearisome life and be told, ‘You held on to your first love.’ 

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Read More in this Series

The Lamb Wins Whole Series Catch Up : Introduction: Chp 1: Hope is Here | Chp 2: First, Love: Ephesus | Chp 3: Fear Not: Smyrna | Chp 4: I Know: Pergamum | Chp 5: Tolerate This: Thyatira | Chp 6: Wake Up: Sardis | Chp 7: Hold On: Philadelphia